By Joanne Rosa
Breakups aren’t supposed to be easy. It doesn’t matter who is to blame. Losing someone you’ve weaved into your life is hard. If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone, but you might be going about this split all wrong.
These steps will help you get over your ex for good.
This is the first thing that needs to go down if you want to move forward. Get rid of those framed pictures in your room and delete his number from your phone. Stop using those gifts you got during your relationship (unless it’s something sweet like a gourmet popcorn maker). Most importantly, delete your ex from social media. Seriously, this is the best thing you can do for yourself. It’s not petty, it’s necessary. You could be having a great day and then your ex pops into your feed. You don’t need that negativity or reminder. Plus, we both know that at some point you’re going to feel the need to check in on your ex. Is his life still a mess without you? Save your energy; his life is likely a sad hot mess, and the unfortunate thot he decided to hookup with after you doesn’t even have half of your looks. If you go looking for something to be upset about, you’ll find something to be upset about.
Speaking of being upset, it’s ok to be upset. Actually, you need to mourn the lost relationship like you mourned Derek Shepherd’s death on “Grey’s Anatomy” (damn it Shonda is a genius). Psychology Today brought attention to the White Bear theory. If you try to never think about your ex, you’re guaranteed to think about your ex. “Dieters who try not to think about chocolate become obsessed with it (and eat more of it).” Thanks for that judgmental analogy. Anyway, Psychology Today is right. When your ex randomly crosses your mind, don’t bug out. Think about your ex, and why he is your ex. In this case, a practical frame of mind is what will get you through those tough moments.
Obviously, you should be living your life to the fullest. You’re free of your ex, and should be working on yourself. Breakups are an opportunity to breakdown parts of your life that need improvement. Maybe you need to spend more time with family, or maybe you simply need to appreciate yourself more. No one can love you, if you don’t love yourself. Treat yourself to life’s simple pleasures, and prioritize your physical and mental health over everything.
In rare cases, you might find true love not long after your breakup. Most likely, you won’t. If anything, you’ll find a rebound and try to fill that whole in your heart with something else. It’s one thing if you’re just trying to have good sex. If that’s what you want then by all means do that. Jumping into a relationship right after your other one ended is the worst idea since Tyga added his son King Cairo to his lease.
Don’t be like Tyga, and don’t replace your broken relationship with another one. You’ll look desperate. You’re better than a rebound!
In moments of weakness, it’s important to have someone to look up to. Like grief, breakup blues come in waves. So when you feel like a tsunami of pent up emotions is coming over you, think about someone you admire and look up to. Is it your Grandma, Oprah, Wendy Williams, or one of the many notorious celebrity Aries? It doesn’t matter who it is as long as that person is able to give you the power to overcome those dim thoughts that cross your mind.