By Joanne Rosa
It’s terrifying to enter a relationship, but even more terrifying to end one. It gives you the kind of feeling that makes your heart drop to your stomach, giving you an instant wave of nausea.
Yes, ending a relationship isn’t what people call a good time. When you know the relationship is done, there’s is no point in torturing yourself (and the person you’re with).
So, you’re probably wondering a few things. “How do I know when it’s time to break it off? What will happen if I don’t break it off? How do I end it?”
Licensed psychotherapist Spirit gave us advice on how to handle this turning point in life.
When you’re in a relationship long enough, it can be difficult to think clearly about what the right thing to do is. Spirit reminded us of what can happen when we are in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. Of course, there is the obvious that can occur, which includes cheating, abuse (verbally/ physically/ emotionally), and either or both partners withhold love and affection because they are not satisfied with the relationship. On the other hand, there’s the not so obvious that happens when you’re in a dead end relationship: your needs are not being met. “It’s okay to acknowledge that a relationship no longer meets your needs,” Spirit tells us. “So know that this doesn’t make you (or your partner) a bad person. It simply means that what used to be a good fit for the both of you no longer fits in a way that is pleasurable for you.” You are always your first priority. If you’re not happy, then something isn’t right, and it’s time to make some life changes!
There’s a point when you’ve done all you can do to fix the relationship you’re in, and you realize it isn’t working. You were in love, and you invested a lot of time and energy in your relationship, but staying around won’t fix anything. In fact, “staying in a bad relationship can negatively affect so many areas of our life. It can cause mental distress, including illness such as depression, anxiety disorders, and a host of other ailments. It can also drain your motivation or ability to enjoy other areas of your life such as your work, hobbies, friendships and family relationships.” No one is worth that kind of pain and frustration.
Sir or madame, we know it’s not easy breaking things off with someone, but you need to stand up tall, keep it together, and do it. Look, these things aren’t supposed to be easy. Chances are you’ll feel pretty down in the dumps, but know that things will get better. “Ending an unhealthy relationship allows you the opportunity to end the frustration and trauma of dealing with a situation that no longer meets your needs and allows you the opportunity to pursue a relationship that is more in line with the person that you are.”
The best thing to do is focus on your overall well-being and do what’s best for you, even if it hurts.
Spirit wanted to remind Wendy Watchers that your life is worth living to the fullest. “You are a beautiful, unique, amazing individual who deserves the very best in life. You deserve to be in a relationship that satisfies you, feeds you, nurtures you and brings you endless joy. If yours is not doing that, do everything you can to try and get things on track. If, ultimately, you come to realize that despite your very best efforts that it just isn’t possible to turn things around, then love yourself enough to let it go and seek out the relationship that is supposed to be a part of your next chapter in life.”