By Joanne Rosa
Last week on “Jersey Shore Family Reunion”, Vinny messed things up with his girlfriend Elicea. Jenny and Snooki are going home to see their families, leaving the boys alone with Deena. The last time Deena hung out with the guys, she wasn’t exactly the nicest person. Vinny, Pauly, Ronnie, and Mike initiated Operation Boy’s Weekend. The plan is to write a note to Deena that convinces her to go back to Jersey for the weekend. Don’t they need a babysitter? Oh wait, Mike is like their babysitter now!
Ronnie wrote the note (it all comes full circle) to Deena. The guys sat her down while Ronnie told her he got a call from a friend in Jersey, and they found a note this morning. It read as follows.
“Dear Deena Buckner,
The first night you left Chris went to Mr. East and he was grinded on multiple meatballs. He was motor boating multiple meatballs. We just thought you should know this was real appalling. This is a note, not a joke.”
Aside from being grammatically incorrect, Jenny and Snooki weren’t buying anything the guys were saying. Jenny even asked who the guy was that called him since she’s going back to Jersey. That’s when the guys pulled out a second note, that said the first note was a joke, and they actually bought her a plane ticket to Jersey! Tears were shed for how badly the letter was written, and how happy she was to go to Jersey for the weekend.
As soon as the girls left for their plane, the boys were ready to play in the clubs. As expected, the club was flooded with women, but the chick that stood out to them was a Sammi Sweetheart doppelgänger! She was basically a mini, edgy version of Sammi. Even though Ronnie thought she looked nothing like her, the guys respectfully disagreed. Naturally, Pauly decided to take her home. While Pauly went to smush Sammi Jr., Mike unloaded to go trays filled with food (part of living his best life), and served them to the guys in the house. Vinny – who shares a room with Pauly – sat up in bed to chow down on his grub while Pauly chowed down on Lil’ Sammi. Ronnie, clearly over Sammi, decided to call Lil’ Sammi a cab before she and Pauly were even finished!
The next morning, Ronnie and Mike were throwing insults at each other. The roast went a little something like this.
Ronnie: “You can’t have your cake and eat it too, unless you’re Mike.”
Mike: “Any shore house that I’ve ever done, you’ve been an extra.”
Ronnie: “So he can finally put a sentence to the guy there, that’s all.”
Mike: “Similar to that clogged toilet upstairs, you’re full of sh*t.”
Ronnie: “Wait Mike, where’s the bus stop? Didn’t they take all of your cars?”
Ronnie started and ended the roast. Vinny predicts one day their roasts will cross a point of no return, and we have to agree.
The guys wanted to go all out for boy’s weekend, so they rented two foreign luxury cars. They needed to roll in style for the weekend! What they don’t need, is for a ghost of shore’s past to come haunting them. Pauly gave Angelina Pivarnick a call. He pulled Ronnie and Vinny aside and spilled the details on the ultimate prank to Mike. The plan is to fly Angelina to Miami and surprise Mike. From the beginning, Mike and Angelina didn’t get along. Technically, no one got along with Angelina, but Mike hated her the most. Pauly is the ultimate prankster. Inviting Angelina to the house is bound to be an epic prank, but he might not have thought this one through. After another call to Angelina, Pauly confirmed her travel details. Yup, the “Rob Kardashian of Staten Island” is coming to Miami!
Angelina wants to go down to Miami and have fun, and she thinks anyone that is still holding onto what happened eight years ago should get over it. Pauly is pumped to be crowned the prank war champion. Ronnie and Vinny are excited to see Mike’s reaction, as well as the girl’s reaction once they get back to Miami, but they’re also fearful of how things could (and likely will) go wrong. This especially applies to the girls.
On the same day Angelina lands in Miami, the girls’ flight to Miami was delayed. The three of them got drunk, and decided to keep drinking once they landed. This should make for a great reunion later. During the guys’ Sunday dinner, Pauly stepped aside to tell Angelina she can roll through. Mike heard a knock, answered the door, and was in complete shock when he saw Angelina (and not just because she got loads of plastic surgery). As Mike put it, “this is the ghost of dirty little hamster’s past.” Angelina asked Mike if he still thought she was a dirty little hamster. “Not at all,” he answered. “But I didn’t even know you were alive.” Since Mike is all kumbaya now, he extended the olive branch to Angelina and gave her a hug. Of course, Angelina warned him that if he crosses her she’ll cut his hair while he’s asleep.
As the five of them broke bread with one another, Angelina called out Mike for blocking her on Twitter. Mike explained he did that because he read an article where Angelina was interviewed and said she had sex with Mike and claims he has a small “peesh” (shore talk for penis). Mike said they never had sex, and Angelina confirmed a) they never had sex and b) she never said they had sex. She did admit to saying Mike has a small peesh. Angelina apologized for saying Mike’s manhood was small, and Mike apologized for immaturely fat-shaming her eight years ago. If only the girls reacted this way. As Vinny put it, “Angelina has the power to bring the JWoww out of Jenny… the Snooki out of Nicole, and the Meana out of Deena.”
Jenny, Nicole, and Deena walked into the house sloshed with more booze in hand. When they saw Angelina sitting at the table with the guys, their spirits nearly dropped both figuratively and literally.
Next week, it looks like the JWoww in Jenny comes out when she calls Angelina a chew toy.
Tell Us: Do Jenny, Nicole, and Deena have a right to hold a grudge against Angelina?