A Movie and a Paycheck!
When I was a junior in high school, a guy asked me to the movies. I was so excited because he was in the local “Battle of the Bands.”
He took me to a drive-in movie theater so we could watch a Planet of the Apes movie marathon. The gag is, he failed to tell me he was working the projector that night!
I watched alone in the car all night…
-Susan from New Jersey
Dinner for Two Turns to Dinner at 2 in the Morning
How you doin’ Wendy?!
I met a guy for coffee/ drinks a couple of times. He seemed a little pretentious, but he looked good on the books so I had to try him on.
Anyway, he offered to make me dinner one night, and I said yes. Who doesn’t want a home cooked meal?! He then hinted at the fact that his parents have to stay at his house for a couple of weeks (AKA let’s do dinner at your place). Of course, I offered up my kitchen.
Mr. Pretentious came over at 8pm, and we head to the grocery store to grab some ingredients. I told him how hungry I was, and that’s when he decided to make his specialty, bolognese sauce.
I was like OK great. We get back to my place, and he begins cooking. I offer to help, but he doesn’t want it. Fine. I grab a bottle of red and begin to unravel the label. I can feel him staring at me. I look over and ask him what’s up? He asks me if I know how to open the bottle.
Wendy, I told him multiple times I used to be a bartender in college. In my mind, I was like “excuse me, sir? I know how to open a damn bottle of wine!” But IRL, I was like “Yes, I do.”
While he’s cooking (and I’m drinking), I make small talk until the sauce is in the pot. Finally, everything is ready to go, and I figure because it’s already close to 11pm we will crank up the heat and try to cut down on some cooking time. Nope! Mr. Pretentious says, “Now we wait 2-3 hours, and stir every 40 minutes!” I was shook, literally. I was practically shaking from hunger!
We wait, and wait, and wait, until the sauce is ready at 1:30am. Wendy, at this point I’m not even hungry. I’m just ready to get some shut eye! I clean up the kitchen, and find he was under the impression he was sleeping over, and even brought a toothbrush and toothpaste.
Does he think I’m a heathen? That I wouldn’t have toothpaste?! More importantly, he felt right at home, which is when I knew it would be our last date.
I let him stay, but I kept all of the sauce for myself the next day. How YOU doin’ Mr. Pretentious!?
-Victoria from Colorado