By Joanne Rosa
As the years pass, it seems that we become a stickler for the little things, the deal breakers. Here’s the problem: our deal breakers have gotten really petty.
Sometimes you just get a feeling that it isn’t going to work out. Other times, we are as much to blame as our partner is for things not working out.
Here are the pettiest reasons to breakup and ways to prevent them.
It’s pretty safe to say that the best way to avoid any of these petty breakups is through communicating your concerns. If you don’t like how something is going, don’t play games. Subtle hints won’t work here; they just end up causing fights and frustration. Be honest and direct with what’s on your mind. You have no one to blame but yourself if you don’t convey your worries to your partner.
So, it’s one thing if your partner never showers, or is a hoarder. Those are things we would absolutely consider deal breakers. However, if he isn’t as groomed (down there) as you’d like him to be, or he is always leaving the dishes in the sink, or maybe he forgot to wear deodorant one time on that really hot day in June, that doesn’t mean you should call it quits. Ask him if he’d consider trimming the hedges. Tell him why it’s important to keep a clean home. As for that one time he forgot deodorant, we’ve all been there. Don’t be that girl.
Sex Isn’t Good
There’s a difference between not having an instant physical connection with someone the first time in bed and never having a physical connection after multiple romps in the hay. If you are breaking up with someone after one unfulfilling hookup, you’re assuming that’s how it will always go. Look, if you really like the person, give it some time, and give them some pointers! Don’t be afraid to give the guy direction. Think of this as an opportunity to mold the person you’re with to meet your needs. Don’t be harsh and ruin your partner’s ego either; just say what you do and don’t like. Remember, three is the magic number. Give it at least three, maybe even three weeks. If it’s been three months and he hasn’t seen your real ecstasy face then it’s time to call it quits.
Perhaps you’ve been in a relationship for a while. It’s fun in the beginning when every experience is brand new. As time passes, it’s easy to get into a routine. Routines are good, except when one person in the relationship becomes bored of ordering Chinese food (again) or binge watching another TV show. This is great to do once in a while, but it shouldn’t be your entire life and it certainly isn’t a good reason to breakup. Figure out ways to get out of the house together, or simply do something different once in a while. The world is your oyster. There’s no excuse to stay in every single night.
Arguably, all petty breakups can be considered superficial. Maybe you always imagined you’d date someone with the same style as you, or someone who loves cleaning the kitchen as much as you do. Perhaps you were looking for instant fireworks. The truth is, you’re living in a fairytale. Don’t get the wrong idea. You should never “settle” for someone or ignore a deal breaker, but your prince charming might be someone who likes different music than you, and doesn’t make the bed everyday.
Expand your horizons, and you’ll find someone worth overlooking the petty things for.