By Joanne Rosa
Divorce; we know it’s a tough subject, but we like to keep it real here at Wendy.
Divorce is hard enough and even more complicated if kids are involved. There are couples that stay together because of the burden divorce would put on their family and their finances. Sometimes it feels like there can be more to lose in a divorce than there is to gain.
For this reason, more and more couples with children are now separating, but still living under the same roof.
Oh yes. Couples make their separate lives work, while still sharing the orange juice. The truth is, if they can stand to do be in the same home, they are better off doing so.
Here are the three reasons why living together is the new way to separate.
The best interest of the children
Even though you may have discovered the relationship between you and your spouse isn’t working, people realize that when children are involved, you will always be a family. Living in the same neighborhood is one convenient option, but it’s so much easier to live in the same home. One person can live upstairs; one can live in the basement. Instead of having the kids hike over to one spouse’s house when a kid forgets their soccer gear for practice (again), you can simply walk to the other side of the house. Separating and living together doesn’t create a drastic change for the kids, just an adjustment to a new routine.
Let’s talk about money
Whether you are living in the city, in the burbs, or in the middle of nowhere, things can get pretty expensive once you divorce. I mean, you were planning on living off of a dual income for the rest of your lives, supporting your two kids, sharing in each other’s retirement plans, and yes, that new pool you took a loan out for that is now a huge financial burden. When you divorce, you have to change your budget. That means both people in the relationship need to downsize, possibly having to pick up a second job to sustain their life. If you are able to have one person live upstairs, and one live downstairs, or in separate bedrooms, you can save yourselves a lot of financial burdens.
A good example for the kids
Ok, so of course the kids are going to have some feelings regarding their parents separating. They thought their parents were going to be together forever and now they aren’t. While many children come from divorced families living separately, it’s complicated. To see it end in a way where children become pawns, and the couple cannot stand to be in the same room as each other, isn’t easy. It’s essentially their first, and possibly only example of a relationship to go off of for their own in the future. Don’t get it twisted. Sometimes, this is necessary. We get it, and so do the kids in those situations. If your relationship turned toxic, then this isn’t the option for you. However, if there is any chance to take the high road during your separation, and coexist under the same roof, it’s worth it. You’ll be showing the kids that both of you are able to put your differences aside, and still have a functioning household where you put your love for your kids over everything else..
Naturally, this is not something every estranged couple can do, but it’s certainly worth a try.