By Joanne Rosa
OK, focus! Kim Zolciak is not here yet. We know that sneak peak Wendy showed us in Hot Topics had everyone tripping.
The Atlanta ladies are “glamping” and start arguing before they even arrive at the campsite.
We’re taken back to the bus, where Porsha calmly explains why she didn’t like how Kenya brought up her anger management sessions. Before pulling into the campsite, Cynthia and Phaedra successfully take the groups level down a couple of notches.
Phaedra privately told the camera, “I don’t recall telling everyone that they could invite ‘ladee dadee’ and everybody.” Phaedra goes to check the ladies in, and lets them know that she only booked six rooms. “This is what we’re gonna do,” Phaedra began to explain. “I only planned for six ladies, so you will have to bunk up… we’re gonna get enough for this evening, and we’re gonna rough it tonight with our own tents.” The ladies were less than pleased about this, specifically Kenya and Marlo. Sheree is more concerned about the animals on the campsite than anything else.
“Bears and sh*t; I don’t wanna sleep outside!” We get it, Sheree, but you’ll live.
Sheree and Marlo head to the log cabin to set their stuff down before roughing it. Sheree took up Marlo’s offer of “Ask Marlo,” and brought up a situation she’s having with one of the ladies. “Some of the girls say that one of the other girls dip in the lady pond, and—” “Kandi?” Marlo intervened. “I did not say no names,” Sheree said as she chuckled. “I just want them to have these conversations amongst each other… they talk behind backs, and say all kinds of stuff.” “I would say something to both of them,” Marlo suggested. Nothing like sh*tting outside, and stirring the sh*t pot!
Phaedra hired a camping expert, Steve Jason. We expect nothing less from her. We have to say, watching these Atlanta damsels attempt to pitch tents is one of the most amusing scenes this season. Two hours later, some are still pitching their tents. Sheree is finished, and lounging in her lawn chair, when Kenya comes up to her in an attempt to throw shade at Chateau Sheree. She asks Sheree for help blowing up her airbed since she “had so much experience with them.” Kenya was the only one laughing… OK maybe some of us at home were too. Just sayin’.
Sitting around the campfire normally includes ghost stories, sing-a-longs, and smores. The housewives have the smores part down, but they decided to skip the rest and get straight to “Ask Marlo.” Phaedra pokes fun at Marlo by asking, “What’s on trend besides camel toe?” Marlo gave some realistic advice, like choker necklaces, and then took a shot at Kenya. “And [also,] lashes put on correctly. Kenya, I’m a recommend something to you… get better lashes, cause you got them too thick, and too big.”
Kenya, you got read, girl. We like your lashes though.
Meanwhile Marlo is still salty that Kenya didn’t invite her to her housewarming party. They start going back and forth, getting nastier with every clap back. Kenya tells the “bitch” to “shut up.”
“Bitch? Why are you talking about yourself, love? … if a person’s mother don’t wanna be bothered with them, you know something wrong with em… that’s how you know she’s evil.”
Marlo cuts deep!
Kenya claps back: “I don’t want your lifestyle; I don’t wanna be a prostitute.”
Phaedra attempted to put out the fire, “At the end of the day, we need to make a conscious effort to change… let’s walk on faith tomorrow!” Honey, we’ll be praying that the pocket knives don’t come out.
In the middle of the night, Marlo walked back to the cabins, and everyone else had an awful night sleep, except for Miss Southern belle, Phaedra. Now that the camping is done, the glampation can begin! While the ladies wait for brunch to be served, Phaedra’s divorce is brought into question. “[I’m] like very close to the end… [I filed] almost a year ago.” Phaedra admitted. Cynthia revealed that her divorce with Peter is also very close to the end. Peter opted to not attend the settlement signing. “This is it… I don’t think I’m gonna get married again.” The housewives finally have their kumbaya moment, and are supportive.
Like their marriages, we doubt it will last long.
Kenya leads the way on the glamping adventure. The housewives soon realize that glamping isn’t all mimosas and pillow fights. When they go on the lake, Phaedra, Cynthia, and Sheree share a paddleboat together. Maybe they should have had one less person on the boat, because the front end of their boat was dippin’ and doin’ it.
Sheree was having a (hilarious) fit. After their experience on the water, they decide to give freefalling a try. Most of the girls took the plunge. Phaedra opted out, and Porsha almost didn’t make the jump. When she finally did, she flailed her arms the whole way down.
We like glamping, or at least we like watching it.
Kenya wants to end the trip on a good note by having a nice dinner together. Everyone held hands while Phaedra blessed the food. She probably should have blessed the sisterhood. Kenya and Marlo make up.
Marlo felt like she was on a roll, and decided to pop the question to Kandi. “Are you a lesbian? … Someone at this table has been talking behind your back, saying you’re a lesbian in the closet.” Marlo basically throws Sheree under the bus, and has her take the lead on the conversation. When Sheree asks if anyone wants to come forward about talking behind Kandi’s back, no one steps forward. Sheree brings up her conversation with Porsha a couple of weeks ago. Porsha deflected the conversation for a while, but brought it back to where it started. “Everyone said their little shade when it was me, you, and Phaedra talking… that was the first time you mentioned to me about Shamea.” Porsha, you are a true friend. It wasn’t Sheree who suggested Kandi and Shamea had a relationship, it was your BFF Phaedra.
Kandi cleared up any confusion the group may have had, “I’m very much so married and happy with my man… If you really wanna know, yes, I have tried it… but I’m not the only one at this table who has… I’ve never done anything more than what [Porsha] has done.” Porsha did what she does best, and plays dumb. “What have I done? … You don’t know anything about what I have done.” They both started bickering about how they will out each other.
The Atlanta ladies retreat back to their cabins, to talk smack about each other. Sheree tells Marlo that she shouldn’t have said anything; Phaedra and Porsha said that Sheree was a mess, and Kandi outed Porsha for being an aggressive lesbian when she is drunk. Porsha claims to know a lot about Kandi, but doesn’t say anything. She knows better than to bring it up in this episode.
Better to wait until everyone is back in Atlanta.