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How Old is Too Old: Taking Your Son into the Ladies Room

Monday April 26th, 2010

How old is too old to bring your child into a public ladies room?

Dana Loesch from momversation.com posted this exact question on her blog and got a lot of feedback.

Find out what Wendy thinks about bringing her 9-year-old son, Little Kev, into a public ladies room.

Take a look and sound off in the comment section below.

77 Comments

  1. HI U DOIN? I BELIEVE THAT AT THE AGE OF SEVEN BOYS SHOULD STOP GOING IN THE WOMENS ROOM.

  2. Hey Wendy! How you doin? I just watched your show from the other day about the whole bring a child in the bathroom thing and I have to comment. First let me say that I am a correctional officer for a federal prison so I read a lot of files and I see a lot of things that the every day person may not. True I do believe there should be a cut off age for little boys who go in to the bathroom with there mothers but that age should be discussed between the mother and child. Every child is different. If the child does not feel comfortable he should not be forced to go by himself because that is how bad things happen. I hate to say it but the reality of the situation is that there are a lot of sick people (men and women) in this world just waiting to take advantage of that one child who is scared or insecure. I know some people may be thinking well it’s just going to the bathroom and nothing can happen in such a short time frame but trust me when I say it does not take long. Please don’t think I am trying to scare people but I just want parents out there to be aware from my professional experiences. On that note, I think your idea of the foot in the door and talking to lil Kev the whole time is a great idea. I know if he goes silent for one second to many momma Wendy is going in there.

  3. Once the child starts school. 5yr. old should be the cut off so,he’ll know the difference in the boys and girls restrooms. If he goes to school alone then he should be able to use restroom alone. you have to let them grow up along with there age. It will be hard ,but let go. When in public call out his name a few times and ask if hes doing alright,if he is taking to long. if no answers or hesitate to long or sounds muffed out then you go in to take action.

  4. Hello Wendy,

    How you doin!!! In my oppinion I think alot of the mother’s are paranoid and implanting fear into their sons. I am a mother of a 21 year old son. I stopped taking him to the bathroom at age 7. Yes, I did stand outside the door and wait for him. However, I believe you should teach your children at home how to behave in public. That includes safety techniques. Do not talk to strangers. If it feels funny it is funny, Yell and fight if necessary. These young boys have to become confident men. If they are not allowed to even go to the bathroom alone until they are a teenager something is wrong with the parents parenting. As for going through your childs backpack. Yes, I also did that. my rule was there is no privacy until your on your own. However, you broadcasting to the nation what you do with your son is only going to make him more sneaky than you say you were at his age. You look under rugs or will be. Well just as we know our children they know us. He will just have a friend keep things at their place for him. And it will be friends that he knows you are not aware of. There must be mystery. My children never knew when or where I would do what, when it came to them. Letting the world know just gives the kids heads up. Fear and love. Hmm! Really U Think So!!!! Love and communication and knowledge worked for me. Fear is a negative emotion to me.

  5. Wendy I think at 7years old should be the cut of point but however inregards to the Visit that Rapper T.I made to the elem school was great on his Behalf everyone needs a second chance given the opportunity after all we all have made bad choices as some point so we should be mindful this is what I think.

  6. I’m an old-school mom of 2, now adult children but 10yrs is old enough to go to the bathroom alone if u r a watchful parent and b mindful of how long the child is away.

  7. I usually enjoy watching your show. Today I was shocked that you would have someone like Dana Loesch giving advice to your viewers. Dana Loesch is a racist teaparty organizer who is basically the female Newt Gingrich. I am not saying that a person’s political beliefs determine their intellegence or worth as a person, but she represents everything I thought you stood against! I am disappointed and will no longer be watching your program.

  8. Wendy first and formost “How You Dooooooin?” This is a very interesting topic to debate about and one that should be debated! I don’t have any kids of my own but Im 33yrs old and I can remeber my mother taking me in the womens bathroom until I was at least 9-10 yrs old and then when she did let me go to the bathroom on my own she would stand at the door of the mens room with enough visibility so she could see me and see what I was doing! You can’t trust the streets when your out in public people are crazy and there are as many of us know crazy people that will hurt children and don’t give a damn! Its called age appropiate people you have to be old enough to go to the bathroom on your own in public places such as a restaurant or in the mall or stores and I also feel Wendy that you were right about what you said about going through your sons totebag, my mother used to every night check our totebags for notes from the teacher, homework, completed and graded work all that my mother didn’t play, she would check our totebags until we were in about Junior Hgh which is 7th grade where Im from! We have to pay attention to what’s going on people, all parents have to know where your kids are, what there doing, who there doing it with all the time especially in this crazy world we live in today this is why so many child abductions and child murders are happening is because parents are not watching and paying attention to what there children are doing and where there at and who they are with and talking to let’s change all that!

    Scott Stodden (Freeport,Illinois)

  9. i think mothers can also go overboard with this. my mother overdid it to the point it traumatized me, she would even go as far as to scotch-tape pieces of paper together from my trash. some mothers can definitely go overboard and mess up their sons, trust me.

  10. i dont ever recall being escorted to the restroom as a boy, nor did i ever have a problem or contact with anyone in a public restroom.

  11. I think that is why they are now starting to create FAMILY BATHROOM. I think that they are to old when they can open the bathroom door be themselves without any problems. I also wonder the same thing with girls and going into the Men’s Bathroom. I think people tend to forget that there are single dads out there with little girls.

  12. I think that based on the size of Wendy’s son he is too big for the woman’s room. And I am in total agreement of the foot in the door while they go.

  13. I think a mother should continue to take their son into the ladies room until their son is too uncomfortable to go inside the ladies room. Then once their son starts going into the mens room on their own; the son should know the ground rules about not speaking to anyone and only use the stalls ( and not the urine al). Also the son should know to scream loudly if anyone approaches them; and the mother should be standing right outside the mens room.

    Shirelle

  14. Mrs. Wendy,

    First, I’m a HUGE fan. I watch almost everyday!!! Now on to the topic at hand lol. I’m 20-years-old and I’m a college sophomore. I don’t think that there’s a problem with standing outside the door or even taking your kids into the ladies room. Even at my age, when my mother and I are out shopping we either use the bathroom at the same time or one of us is right outside the door waiting for the other. When I take my nephews out with me, I take them right into the ladies room. In this day and age, you just can’t be too careful and I’d be suspicious of anyone who has a problem with that! HOW U DOIN!

  15. Hi ms wendy how u dooin I’am a mother of two girl they are 4@nd 10mo and no l will not let my old’s daughter go to go to the restroom by herself because men are not the only one’s lookin at our kids if u know what I am sayin women are carzy to a I would like to say how u dooin

  16. iTHINK ABOUT 7 YEARS OLD IS THE TIME TO CUT OFF BRINGING YOUR KIDS IN THE WOMANS BATHROOM WITH YOU ,AT A CERTAIN ITS TIME TO SHOW THEM HOW TO GO IN THE MENS AND DO IT !

  17. As far as watching your kid while he or she is in the bathroom i’d say 10 is the cut off.

  18. Hi Wendy how ya doin? I think your right to watch your son if he is under 12.You never know if somebody will kidnap him in the bathroom.but i don’t agree with the comment you made that you check your son’s bag & room & ect..Unless you don’t trust him or you suspect he/she is doing drugs than thats different.but don’t believe in invading a kids space by checking his bag or room.If he wants to hide letters or anything its his right.Kids need space.When a kid is a teenager they really need space.I do understand you have monitor your kid but to a certain point.Not to invade his or her space. If he is gonna do something he can hide it in school.If there’s a will there’s a way.Just don’t over step bounderies.

  19. Thank you, thank you, thank you Wendy! I’ve been wondering about the “little boys in the bathroom” issue for years. My son is now 14 but when he was younger I took him into the ladies room with me and never had a negative response. Until one night at a restaurant a lady approached me at the buffet in front of everyone and started yelling in my face because she had seen my 8 year old son in the ladies room with me. We had a full on, shut the restaurant down confrontation. After that, I always secretly wondered if I was wrong for taking him in there so I started doing what you do – I let him go into the men’s room but always stuck my foot in the door, talked to him the whole time, and had him give me a play by play of everything going on in there! If a man walked up I made no apologies, I would say “if me being here bothers you, you might want to wait until my son comes out because I’m not going anywhere until he does.” I never got a negative response from any men either. Thank you for confirming for me that i was not the one out of line at the restaurant that night and not crazy for sticking my foot in the door of the men’s room. Responsible parents unite!

  20. I think when it comes to knowing what your children are doing
    …yes it is very important to keep track of all that they do
    And yes fear is very important when it comes to discipline. Now a days that is all we have but like I’ve told my boys 21 and 19 you fear your parents when your younger which grows into respect when there older. So yes “fear” is a good thing.

    Shannon

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